RickSpace

This post will probably leave you with a sad feeling inside, so please do not read any further if you don’t need that sort of influence today.

I won’t do the standards “OMG LOL I’ve been so bizzy lat3ly ROFLMAO!!!” type stuff, nor the apology “I’m soooooooo sorry I haven’t posted in a while OMG kthx.” Just suffice it to say that I’ve not been inspired to write anything in a while. Today, that changed.

Lately I’ve been doing a couple things. I was programming for the MUD I had played on since 1997 and making a lot of headway until the over-bearing control-freak head of the mud basically trounced upon the party. This was pretty horrible, because once you start coding, you basically can’t go back to playing… and the trouncing would not have happened had I not begun coding, so all would have been well. Oh, woe is me.

Shiloh (my new daughter (as a side note, my only daughter (that I know of ))) has been spending a lot more time awake lately, which means when I get home my wife REALLY needs a break, and we can’t both be doing stuff at the same time, so we spend a lot of time like “you hold her while I do X” etc… It makes for less free time, less time to spend with my wife getting to know her better, etc. Oh, woe is me.

At work, things are as normal. Some things move at a snail’s pace while other things fly by. I was out of my actual office for almost 5 months, being stuck in a closet with another programmer, while they did repairs to our shared office. I’ve recently requested to pick up the work load of being a part-time support person for a deparment here as well, because I’m supposed to be streamlining the work they do, but until I DO that work, I don’t see how I could possibly try to improve it. More work. Oh, woe is me.

We haven’t been to Church in a while… I feel my faith slowly eroding away. For a time I was so ‘on fire’ that I considered seminary, but now, I don’t feel anything at all… WEAK. Not to trivialize the loss of faith or whatever this is becoming but…. Oh, woe is me.

Today I got the kind of wake-up call that makes it hard to concentrate; I don’t know if I’ll lose sleep over this, but I honestly hope I do… proof of humanity. One of my co-workers and his wife were pregnant while Shaina and I were; they were about 1.5 months behind us, and as such, that means their due date is… well… around this time actually. Yesterday my co-worker didn’t come to work because his wife was going into the hospital for labor pains. Around Noon, a misdialed call from another co-worker verified that she was indeed in labor at that time. As of 8:30pm last night, we as a staff were notified that the baby was still-born. I imagine that sentence has caused a reaction in ANYONE who reads it… it was especially tough to swallow having JUST witnessed the miracle of childbirth, and being able to (though not wanting to) put myself easily in their position and imagine what that would have done to us… Though I try, I cannot IMAGINE how a person would make it through this type of ordeal. Though he has not requested it and likely will not, my own prayers will be with his family during this time.

Suddenly not a single one of my problems matter… at all… even a little. Step back from your job, your arguments, your falterings or lack of faith, your worries and concerns about losing/not getting all those things you wanted… You have your health (to some degree, whatever it may be) and you have your friends and family; be glad for that. If you are losing or have lost family or friends recently, I will be praying for all of those who have lost… even the ones I do not know for surely God does not love them less just because I do not know them. If you and your family and friends have your health, be thankful for it, preserve it as much you can, and most importantly enjoy it. Don’t get hung up on the have-nots because there are always the have-even-lesses out there; what things can one not do if they have their health, their family, their friends and a thankful heart?

Sorry for the preachiness and the depressing nature of the post… but it is the sad that make me most thankful for the happy.